


But I Asked You First

by MenacingPlatypus



Series: Three Sides of the Coin [1]
Category: The Last Kingdom
Genre: A little angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24584713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MenacingPlatypus/pseuds/MenacingPlatypus
Summary: Despite decades by Uhtred’s side, Finan finds it hard to say how he feels. All great romances have a healthy dose of suffering and angst, right?
Relationships: Implied Uhtred/Finan/Eadith, Uhtred of Bebbanburg/Finan
Series: Three Sides of the Coin [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783555
Comments: 11
Kudos: 35





	But I Asked You First

Finan wakes slowly, squinting his eyes against the sunlight that filters in through tiny cracks in the walls next to his and Eadith’s bed. Breathing past the nauseous feeling in his gut that assures him he had a particularly good time last night, Finan rolls onto his back and stretches his arms over his head. The obnoxious brightness of the light can only mean that it is closer to midday than dawn. Sihtric and Osferth, correctly sensing Finan’s dark mood, had done their best to distract their long-time companion. Not worth it, he thinks as he rubs at one bleary eye. Much closer to forty now than thirty, nothing makes him feel his age like drinking his weight in ale.

Between the hangover and his brooding, Finan misses the voices at first, but as he lays there feeling sorry for himself, the soft tones of conversation reach him. It’s Eadith’s voice, without question, but he can’t tell who she’s talking to at first. Tomorrow the visitors from the South were to arrive. Lots to do, he thinks bitterly.

“I’m not saying you need to make a decision right away, but I do think you should keep an open mind.”

“I’m known for my open mind,” a low, rich voice answers back. Uhtred. Finan can hear the smirk in his lord’s voice and, if possible, squeezes his eyes shut even tighter. He knows he had some kind of tense conversation with Uhtred the previous night, but the details flit just out of reach. Several straight hours of drinking directly after said conversation had taken care of the finer points nicely.

“I’m serious,” Eadith says and Finan can picture the exact look of exasperation she will be wearing. It’s one he’s intimately familiar with. It doesn’t lack for fondness though and since the three of them had begun their new arrangement, it had be making frequent appearances.

It had been Eadith’s idea, originally. Or well, if Finan was being honest with himself, it had been his idea first. Most likely. An idea to mull over, to obsessively fantasize about, on particularly cold nights on watch. Not that Finan manned the wall much anymore, but he liked to set a good example for the men he commanded. As the head of Uhtred’s guard at Bebbanburg, he was responsible for training the soldiers and keeping them fit to guard the keep they had all worked so hard to reclaim. It had been nearly two full years since he and Uhtred stood on the ocean slicked stones together in silence as the fortress celebrated loudly behind them. Thankfully, they and their loved ones had survived the fighting, brutal as it was, and while it had taken considerable work, they made a happy and thriving home. The people loved their lord and for good reason.

Some of us more than others.

“You are a proper lord now, Uhtred, have been for some time. It’s only natural for you to take a wife.” All the muscles in Finan’s back tense.

“You’re doing a wonderful job-“

“I will not be swayed by flattery, Uhtred Ragnarson. I am happy to help you with the ledgers and keeping your household staff-“

“And registering traders, and collecting taxes, and caring for-“ Finan hears a thump which he’s certain is Eadith striking their beloved lord and Uhtred’s chuckle that follows more or less confirms it. “You undervalue yourself, Eadith. You’ve done very well at helping me, helping all of us.”

Eadith sighs so softly Finan barely hears it, but the sound tugs at his heart. Even though they disagree, Finan understands her position. However reluctantly.

“A wife could be a great comfort, as well as another helping hand.” Uhtred snorts loudly which causes Finan’s painfully dry lips to tilt upwards slightly. “Finan and I cannot be your wife, Uhtred.” The would be smile disappears completely. “I cannot because I love Finan and Finan cannot because he is a miserable cook.” They both chuckle, but there is little mirth in the sound. “We want you to be happy, Uhtred.”

There is a long pause and Finan holds his breath. Just as he’s about to rise and join the conversation, if only to break the tension, Uhtred’s response freezes him in place.

“Finan is upset.” Wincing, Finan scrubs a hand over his face. It would seem his assessment of their conversation last night was correct. Uhtred doesn’t sound angry, but Finan recognizes the dissatisfied rumble in his lover’s voice and, like Eadith’s sigh, it causes his chest to ache. Along with the lake of self pity he’d drowned himself in last night, it seems he’s successfully spread his unhappiness to the two people he loves most and who deserve it the least, given all they’ve suffered.

“Finan is pouting.” Eadith responds tartly and Finan’s brow furrows immediately. “Despite his generous nature, Finan has absolutely no desire to share you, my lord. Sometimes I think it is even difficult for him to see you and I together. No matter if he’s laying on the bed beside us.” Properly annoyed now, Finan sits up and swings his feet over the edge of the bed.

Which proves to be a serious mistake. The contents of his stomach rebel violently at the sudden motion and he barely manages to grab the pot Eadith had the good sense to place by the bed. She may be angry with Finan, but she was not lying when she told Uhtred of her love for her husband and along with the acidic wash of too many cups of ale, guilt burns in Finan’s chest. He loves Eadith, truly, and has always been glad of her company, but his love for Uhtred is of a different sort. They were bound, he and the Saxon turned Dane. There was no force on this earth that could compel Finan to leave his lord’s side and the recent amorous turn in their relationship only cemented that certainty in the Irishman’s mind. The weight and warmth of Uhtred’s body and the intensity of his touch often leaves Finan reeling. For so many years Finan had lain awake with only the stars overhead and listened to the steady rhythm of Uhtred’s breathing from furs only an arms length away. Now he lays beside him in a comfortable bed, naked as the day they were born, with Uhtred’s chest rising and falling under Finan’s cheek. His ear pressed against his lord’s skin to better hear the thunder of Uhtred’s heart.

Coughing into the pot, Finan breathes out heavily and wipes his mouth with his tunic. Pulling the soiled shirt from his back, he hears Eadith’s approaching footsteps. Their home was modest, as were all the homes in Bebbanburg and it only takes her a moment to appear in the doorway.

Pushing the curtain aside, Eadith takes in his worn appearance with a single raised eyebrow. In her hands is a washbowl and a pitcher of water. Placing both on the small table, Eadith says, “Finally, you’re up.” Finan grimaces at her and the lack of pity he sees in her face certainly doesn’t surprise him. “I need dark thread to mend our lord’s tunic. I’ m going to find some. Uhtred is in the kitchen.” Raising both eyebrows at him and looking annoyed, Eadith surprises Finan by leaning forward and pressing her lips to his forehead. It may just be the fuzziness from his hangover, but Finan would swear he can see cracks in his wife’s formidable armour. “Be nice,” she whispers in his ear before placing her hand on his cheek. The softness in her eyes is more visible now and Finan covers her hand with his own.

“No promises,” he whispers back roughly and is rewarded with a slightly sad smile. She takes her leave and Finan stands warily before walking to the washing bowl. Dousing his head and neck in the frigid well water and rinsing his mouth helps and after putting on a clean tunic Finan collects himself for a moment before he pushes through the curtain to the main living area where his other lover awaits.

Uhtred is facing away from Finan when he passes through the doorway but turns as soon as he hears the Irishman’s light tread. They stare at each other for a moment and Finan wills himself to look steadier than he feels.

“You look like shit,” Uhtred says with a shadow of his familiar smirk and Finan can see hesitation in his eyes. Finan nods, rubbing a hand over his beard to remove the last clinging droplets of water. It’s impossible for him to gage what to say without knowing what had transpired between them the night before.

It is strange, really. Finan pined for years, but he never had trouble talking to Uhtred. Their friendship was one of total trust and forthright conversations. He had resigned himself to unrequited desire and perhaps that lack of hope kept things easier, in a way. If excruciatingly painful in another way. The idea of losing that extra connection between them now is unacceptable.

“Long night, those boys know how to have a good time,” Finan smiles ruefully, grimaces really, and is relieved when Uhtred smiles in return. He’s even more pleased when his lord crosses the small space to stand in front of him. Uhtred stops close enough that Finan can smell the fresh hay on his boots, the ale on his breath. Missing is the distinct smell of sword oil and leather. Even within the walls of his fortress Uhtred normally carries a blade, but this morning Eadith is repairing a tear in the left sleeve of their lord’s formal blue tunic. It is a deep blue with intricate black stitching at the sleeves and over the chest. It is Finan’s favourite. He takes that as a positive sign.

Uhtred tips his head to the side, regarding Finan closely. “Do you remember our conversation last night?” He asks, voice low.

“Honestly, my lord, barely.” He’s tempted to reach out for Uhtred’s hand. They’ve always comforted each other starting in those first days on the slave ship and it stings now to feel wary of asking for it.

Fuck it.

Finan looks down for a moment, clears his throat and slips his right hand into Uhtred’s left. His hands are warm and Finan runs his index finger along the pads calloused from years of wielding Serpent’s Breath. Meeting Uhtred’s eyes is easier than he thought, distracted by the innocent pleasure of holding hands. Something he likes more than he would admit to Eadith, or Uhtred.

“I’m sorry if, ah, if I was a bit out of sorts.” His voice remains steady, but the movement of his fingers against Uhtred’s palm betrays his nervousness. “Eadith is right, of course. My mother’s ghost living through her.” His attempt at humour falls a little flat under Uhtred’s searching eyes. The Northern lord does not leave him in suspense for long though.

“It’s alright,” is all he says.

Finan blinks.

“Lord, I distinctly remember a bit of yelling last night.” The memories are still fuzzy, but snippets, horrifyingly embarrassing snippets, are seeping through.

Uhtred closes his hand tightly around Finan’s fingers and gives that vague one-armed shrug. He glances at the ground and back up. “Not really yelling, more like loud talking. I’ve heard you yell. Tell me what you are thinking now.” He grins. “And perhaps leave out the bit about the empty space between my ears.”

Finan must grin in return despite himself. “Mhm, I believe that was an important part of my argument. And the rest I think I’ve forgotten.” He uses their joined hands to pull Uhtred that last inch closer and brushes his nose against the other man’s. Even that small contact manages to melt the remaining tension. Finan’s relief that he hasn’t set fire to their relationship pushes aside his anxiety about the delegation from Wessex. “But I meant it when I said Eadith is right. We just want you to be happy. No matter what that means, lord.” Finan swallows. He means it, truly, but it is difficult to say when he can feel Uhtred’s breath on his cheek.

Uhtred wraps his free hand around Finan’s other wrist and murmurs against his lips, “You make me happy, arseling.”

The kiss starts slowly, but the warmth from Uhtred’s words pushes Finan to release his lord’s hand and wrap it around Uhtred’s waist, pressing them closely together. Uhtred hums in satisfaction and opens his mouth to deepen their kiss. The hand around Finan’s other wrist tightens when he pushes a leg between Uhtred’s and soon it’s hard to tell where the divide is between their bodies. Releasing Finan’s wrist and gripping his short black hair, Uhtred tilts the other man’s head back as his mouth leaves a trail of open kisses down Finan’s neck to suck over the pulse point there.

They are so absorbed in each other a loud thud from the other side of the exterior wall startles them both and they break apart. Chuckling sheepishly, they smile at each other and Finan takes a deep breath. Rubbing a hand over Uhtred’s shirt, he traces the dark stitching along the shoulders. “I like the blue,” he says softly.

“I know,” Uhtred replies somewhat smugly and they grin at each other once again. Footsteps sound outside and they distance from each other once again, but it’s just Eadith returning with the thread. She gives them an evaluative look before entering, seemingly pleased with whatever she sees.

“Nothing to say?” Finan asks cheekily. Uhtred smiles as well and turns to stand with Finan. He bumps shoulders with the Irishman.

“Did you know she called you a terrible cook?”

Pretending to be aghast, Finan slaps a hand to his chest while Uhtred snickers. Eadith simply rolls her eyes and deposits her basket dramatically on the table. But she is smiling as she does it and as the three of them laugh together, Finan feels the dread he had been harbouring in his heart lift. This would be their future. Laughter and love. The sleeping arrangements could always be sorted out later.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been a longtime lurker around the archives and this is the first time I’ve felt compelled to contribute. I just love these two so damn much. 
> 
> Apologies for any formatting/grammatical errors, I’m unfortunately posting this on mobile. 
> 
> And big thanks to all of you who contribute, it’s a ton of work and you’re all fantastic!


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